


My Dearest Prince

by Gates_of_Ember



Series: PJO Arranged Marriage/Royalty AU [5]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Gen, M/M, contains references to tragic backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gates_of_Ember/pseuds/Gates_of_Ember
Summary: Six years ago, Prince Nico returned to his home after a torturous exile on the countryside, only to find a new girl living in his dead sister’s room.  Confronted with feelings of betrayal added to the already pained state he was left in by Bianca’s untimely death and the Lotussium, Nico must learn to love and accept this new sister, or else give in to the anger and resentment plaguing his heart.Now, Nico faces a different dilemma: coming to terms with  his growing feelings for his fiancé.





	My Dearest Prince

Ten-year-old Nico felt cold when the Palatium de Divitae came into view.  He knew he would not find Bianca there.  Lady Maria wouldn’t be there, either.  All that the palace contained now was a father who didn’t want him and a mother who hadn’t been his to begin with.

Four years.

That was how long Nico had remained at the Lotussium.  That was how long it had been since Nico had seen the Hall of Gold or the Chamber of Ouranos.  That was how long it had been since Nico had slept in his own bed or seen his parents.  That was how long it had been since he’d heard Bianca’s voice.

Nico didn’t know quite how to feel—he didn’t yet believe that Hestia and Asterion were safe or that he wouldn’t be dragged back into the Lotussium.  He didn’t believe that his family wanted him back—if he even had a family.

On the journey to the Palatium de Divitae, one of the things that Nico had feared the most had been returning to his old room.  He and Bianca had lived in a shared suite; their bedrooms were connected by a central drawing room with several other private rooms attached.  Every time Nico entered his room from then on, he would have to pass by Bianca’s.  Nico considered asking for his room to be changed, but that would mean that he would have to talk to someone.  He would rather suffer than face anyone ever again.

The King and Queen greeted him when he arrived, like they were obligated to.  Even if they didn’t want Nico, they had to keep up with appearances.  Nico didn’t bother to look at them.  Was he angry at them?  Yes.  They’d let this happen.  They’d ordered him to the Lotussium.  They’d placed Minos in charge of his care.  They hadn’t saved Bianca.  They hadn’t saved Lady Maria.  Half of Pluto was dead and it was their fault for not putting a stop to it.

Nico wished Artemis had accompanied him the whole way, but she had returned to Venadica, taking Hestia with her.  Artemis had promised to come once she had settled things in the City of Enlightenment, but for the time being, Nico was alone.  At least he had Asterion.  Nico hadn’t spoken to anyone after Artemis and Hestia departed, but he’d had Asterion to keep him company.

Nico’s things were taken to his room—he hadn’t brought much back with him, not wanting to be reminded of his years in exile.  He did not respond to the King and Queen when they tried to speak to him; he did not want them and he knew that they did not want him, either.  He went to his room silently, ignoring the people who followed him.  There was nothing to do but remain alone in his room until Artemis and Hestia came back for him.

If they would even bother with that.  Hestia would be better off in Venadica.

He expected to find the suite he had shared with Bianca exactly the way he had left it.  Perhaps it would have been cleared out, or left untouched and covered in cobwebs.  But that was not what Nico found.

Their shared drawing room had been cleaned and rearranged, the furniture reupholstered and the new curtains drawn back to let in the sunlight.  And it was not empty.

Sitting in Bianca’s favorite chair—which had once been green, but was now gold—was a small girl, perhaps three years of age, with eyes like stones of amber and hair like coils of bronze, her skin as dark and warm as Persephone’s.  She was scribbling on a piece of paper, carelessly getting charcoal all over herself and Bianca’s chair.

“Hello!” she said cheerfully.  “I drew a picture for you.”  She climbed out of her seat and tottered towards Nico, grabbing a crudely scribbled drawing off the floor on her way.  She held it out to Nico, but Nico did not take it.

“Nico,” Hades said.  “I would like you to meet your sister, Hazel.”

Nico took a step back, his lip curling in disgust.  This was not his sister.  His sister was gone.  This was an intruder and imposter.

He turned away abruptly, not even looking at the drawing the girl was offering, and he stormed out of the room without a word.

 

_Six Years Later_

“Halt!”

Hazel sighed and let her arms drop to her sides mid-lunge, the tip of her foil dragging across the worn floor of the training room.  “Now what is it?” she groaned tiredly.

“I said ‘halt,’ I didn’t say that you could rest,” Nico said as he approached her, smacking her foil with his own.  Hazel was wearing women’s fencing clothes, which consisted of a wide skirt that stopped just below the knee with a pair of breeches underneath.  The bodice she wore over her white shirt was made of leather and designed to protect her upper body without restricting movement.  Not all women chose to wear skirts when they fenced; Reyna preferred to wear loose-fitting breeches, but Hazel was attached to her skirts.  Personally, Nico did not understand it.  All the skirt did was add extra weight.

Men’s fencing clothes were similar to women’s: Nico wore plain, loose breeches and a fencing waistcoat made of soft leather like Hazel’s bodice, shorter than his other waistcoats.  Hazel had accidentally nicked Nico’s arm earlier in their training session, so he’d bound it with a cloth, not seeing a reason to bother with the palace physician.

“Your feet,” Nico said, nudging her back foot with the toe of his shoe.  “You should not have your feet in line.  Back foot pointing out.  Return to first position.”

Hazel groaned again, dragging her front foot back and putting her heels together.

“No, that’s first position in _dancing,_ Hazel,” Nico said, turning her upper body to face the training dummy and squatting down to fix the angle of her feet.

“But Alecto said they’re the same—”

“Alecto doesn’t know the first thing about fencing, and you can tell her I said that,” Nico said, standing back up.  “Quite frankly, she doesn’t know much about dancing, either.  Now, do we need to practice your footwork again?”

“I _hate_ practicing footwork,” Hazel protested, waving her foil at the training dummy aggressively.  “I want to stab things.”

A knock interrupted them, followed by the sound of someone clearing their throat, and they both looked up to find Reyna standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, looking rather entertained.  “Is it a bad time?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s a very bad time,” Nico replied irately, nudging Hazel’s foot into position as it started to turn back in line with her front foot.  “Stop putting your weight on your toes,” he told her.

“Are you _sure_ it’s a bad time?” Reyna asked pointedly.  Nico could hear a grin in her voice.  “Because I think this might interest you.”

Nico sighed.  “What is it, Lady Reyna?” he asked tiredly.

Reyna, still grinning, held up an envelope.  “This came for you.  Can you guess who it is from?”

Beside him, Hazel’s arm shot up.  “Oh, I know!  It’s from Lord William, isn’t it?”

“That’s right, Your Highness,” Reyna said.  “But of course, if this is a bad time, then I suppose I’ll hold onto it until you finish, hm?”

Nico was torn between preserving his pride by telling Hazel to get back to her training or marching up to Reyna and snatching the letter out of her hand.  In the end, his pride lost, mostly because he knew that once Hazel got distracted, she was impossible to train, but also because there wasn’t much left of his pride anyway.

“I’ll take the letter,” Nico grumbled, and he put his foil back away.

“Ooh, can I see?” Hazel asked, putting her foil up, as well.

“No.”  Nico accepted the letter from Reyna and made to escape to his room.

“Please, brother,” Hazel begged, hanging off of Nico’s arm and dragging her feet across the ground as he tried to pull himself free.  “I want to see, too!”

“It’s private!” Nico insisted, but Hazel looked up at him and pouted, still clinging to his arm.  “Fine,” he grumbled, never able to refuse Hazel’s pout.  “Come on, you can read it with me.  Just don’t tell anyone.”

“Yes!” Hazel said in celebration, running off to their shared apartment and leaving Nico to follow behind her.

Nico looked down at the envelope as he walked the rest of the way, smiling at Will’s familiar, elegant penmanship.  It wouldn’t be long before fall, and then Will would come to Divitia for a few days before departing for Diana.  Hedge, Nico’s guard, was already preparing for it; he hadn’t met Will yet, but he wouldn’t take Nico’s word for Will’s gentlemanly character.

 _“I’ll be ready,”_ Hedge had said, grinding his fist into his palm threateningly.  

Since Nico’s trip to Venadica, something about Will’s letters seemed a bit different.  They were longer, for one thing.  He talked in more detail about his studies and his friends—he once even took up an entire paragraph describing the beauty of a sunrise.  Will would write things that Nico couldn’t recall ever being said to him; he addressed Nico with sweet names like “my charming fiancé” and he called Nico’s features “handsome” and his eyes “mystifying.”

When Nico got to the main drawing room of the suite he shared with his sister, Hazel was already perched at one end of the couch waiting.  “What flower is it this time?” Hazel asked as Nico sat beside her and unfolded the letter.

That was the other thing that had changed about Will’s letters; ever since Venadica, Nico and Will had sent pressed flowers folded inside the paper.  It had begun when Nico admitted to Will that on the carriage ride back to Divitia, he’d stolen Reyna’s books to preserve the flowers Will had given him.

“Gladiolus,” Nico said after scanning over a few words in Will’s letter.  “He says, _‘The flowers accompanying my letter are gladioli.  ‘Gladiolus,’ as I’m sure you are aware, comes from the Old Pluton word for ‘sword.’  It is the flower of warriors and heroes of old and it has come to represent strength and integrity.  I chose to send this flower because I think it suits your character, as well as your aptitude for fencing.’”_

Hazel cooed and tried to snatch the letter out of his hands, but Nico held it out of reach.  “He thinks you’re _heroic.”_

“Yes, well, I’ve successfully fooled him,” Nico joked to cover up how embarrassed and flattered he was.

“What else does he say?  Can I read it?”  Hazel made to grab for the letter again.  Nico batted her hands away.

“No, it’s _my_ letter.”

“Just a bit—”

_“No.”_

“Oh alright,” she said dejectedly, but as soon as Nico let his guard down, she grabbed the letter.  “He says, _‘My Dearest Prince.’_ How sweet is that!  I want to have a suitor who calls me ‘dearest princess.’”

“You’re too young for suitors,” Nico said, stealing his letter back.

“I’ll be ten next year,” Hazel protested, trying to grab the letter again.  “That’s _two_ numbers—one, zero.  Then I’ll be old enough.”

“No, you won’t,” Nico said, holding the letter out of reach and trying to push her away.  “Not until you’re twenty.”

“But then I’ll be _old,”_ Hazel declared.  “No one will want to marry me!”

“Good,” Nico snapped.  “Then I won’t have to chase away as many suitors.”  Hazel pouted and Nico mussed her hair.  “I’m teasing,” he assured.

“That was very mean,” Hazel said.  “Now you must read that letter to me.”

Nico sighed but acquiesced.  He’d never admit it, but a part of him liked reading these letters with Hazel.  It was something he’d only started doing recently and it felt like they were sharing a secret between the two of them.  Hazel never seemed to bore of hearing him talk about Will. _“‘My Dearest Prince,’”_ Nico read, unable to suppress a smile and a blush.  “Then he goes on to talk about the flowers he sent; I already read that part.  He says: _‘The Expo is finally winding down and I have had more time to spend on my usual duties in the laboratories, which has provided a nice change of pace.  I’ve been spending many hours at the children’s ward, as well, which seems to be much more peaceful now than it was during the Expo.  The children were quite rambunctious from all the excitement and the usual volunteers were busy, so it got to be a bit overwhelming there for a while._

_“‘Emmie and Jo (that is, Hemithea and Josephine, the two sorors I introduced you to) asked me about you the other day.’”_

“Who are Emmie and Jo?” Hazel asked.

“Those were the two sorors that he told me were like mothers to him, I think I mentioned them to you before,” Nico answered.   _“‘I told them you have planned to visit again next year, and I fear that I somehow ended up promising to bring you to the children’s ward (they can be rather hard to refuse).  I can, of course, make excuses if you would rather not, but I would like to take you.  I spend much of my childhood there and I enjoy spending time with the children.  If it interests you at all, I would like to share it with you.’_ He’s always like that, you know.  It’s like he thinks he’s burdening me.”

“He’s so humble,” Hazel said dreamily.

“He is _too_ humble.  Sometimes I forget exactly how clearly I have to tell him that he’s not a bother.  But anyway, he says: _‘It seems that my aunt will not be available to accompany me to Divitia this time, which is to be expected.  She and I are currently looking for someone else to chaperone me for the duration of my stay.  Although I know will see you again soon, I feel like my visit is still so far away.  I must confess that it has come to the point where thoughts of you distract me when I ought to be studying.  Hygeia had to shout at me the other day when I knocked over a few vials of a rather corrosive substance, but fortunately, the accident was more embarrassing than it was dangerous.  We have many safeguards prepared in the labs—it is quite imperative that we do, as Master Asclepius tends to be a bit clumsy.’”_

“He thinks of you so much—that is _so_ sweet!” Hazel declared.

“He’s absolutely foolish,” Nico said, but he was grinning and blushing.   _“‘As much as I am enjoying myself here in Venadica, I wish I could see you sooner.  I constantly find myself thinking about how much I have yet to show you—yet your visit is still a year away!  But I am glad that I will see you before long, even if that means I’ll have to leave the city, as it also means I will once again see the beauty of Divitia and the Palatium de Divitae.  My memories of your mother’s gardens are still clear, as is the awe-inspiringly gorgeous Hall of Ouranos.  But mostly, I am looking forward to being with you again.’”_  Nico flushed before he even finished the sentence, and then he found himself smiling so hard that it hurt his cheeks to continue reading out loud.   _“‘I want to hear the sound of your laughter and see the light of your smile.  I want to talk to you face-to-face, to hear your replies in an instant rather than to read them weeks late.  I take comfort in knowing it won’t be long before I see you again.  In the meantime, I will be satisfied with reading letters written by your hand.’”_

“He’s so enchanting,” Hazel sighed.

Nico rolled his eyes and kept reading.   _“‘I hope to hear word from you soon.  How fare the Princess and Lady Reyna?’_ —yes, Hazel, of course he asked about you, he always does— _‘What of the King and Queen?  And, of course, the lovely and loyal Asterion?’_ —did you hear that, Asterion?  He called you lovely and loyal!”  Asterion looked up at his name, then plopped his head back on his paws when Nico didn’t offer him food or tell him to do anything.   _“‘Although I will be in Venadica long enough to receive one more letter from you, I suspect this will be the last one I send before I leave the city.  Be that the case, the next time you hear from me will be from my own voice.  Until that time, however: I remain your humble and devoted fiancé, William of Solace.’”_

*   *   *

The King and Queen chased after Nico when he fled from the girl invading his sister’s room.  “Come, Nico,” Hades said, ushering him into a nearby study.  “We ought to talk about this—”

“Talk about what?” Nico demanded as he was pushed inside and the door shut behind them.  “About how you had to make a new child now that Bianca’s gone?  Just in case I die, too?  Or because I won’t give you grandchildren?”

“Nico!” Hades said angrily.  “I don’t know what happened out on the countryside, but you do not have the right to speak to me that way!”

“I will speak to you however I want, Father,” Nico said, spitting out the last word like it left a foul taste on his tongue.  “So who is her mother, Your Majesty?  Did you have to find some new courtesan now that Lady Maria is dead?”

Hades and Persephone stood very still.

“How did you know?” Hades asked quietly.

Until that point, a part of Nico had held on to the hope that it was a lie.  He’d wanted to believe that Minos was nothing more than a filthy, scamming liar and that all the cruel things he had said were untrue.  But when Hades and Persephone looked at him with those horrified expressions, he knew that Minos had told him the truth.

“I heard,” Nico growled.   “Minos didn’t let me forget it; he liked to remind me that I was a worthless bastard.  So who is it, Your Majesty?  Who did you find to carry your latest bastard child, since neither one of my mothers are able to do that for you?”

“Nico!” Persephone snapped.  “You will not talk to your father that way.  You will not talk about yourself that way, either, or Lady Maria, or Hazel, or Hazel’s birth mother.  Do you understand me?”

“No!” Nico shouted.  “No, I do not understand!  I don’t understand why you put that girl in my sister’s room or why you are pretending that Bianca never existed.  Did you even care when you heard that she died?  I cried for _days,_ all alone, with no friends, no mother or father, no governess—all I had was that awful Minos!  And _you_ left me with him!”

“Of course we cared!” Hades said.  “How could you even suggest—”

“Well, of course you cared, because it meant you’d end up stuck with me as your heir,” Nico spat.  “Minos made what you thought quite clear.  It would’ve been better if I’d died instead of Bianca.”

Hades looked shocked.  “I never—”

“Bianca was a better heir than I’ll ever be.  Everyone loved Bianca.  She was smarter than me and stronger than me.  She would’ve brought you children, but I won’t because I’m too stubborn to let go of the idea of taking a husband even though I’m your heir now!  I’m no good, I know that.”

“Nico, that is absolutely not true,” Hades said.  He reached out to take Nico’s shoulder, but Nico jerked away.

“Don’t touch me!” he shouted.  “I hate you!”

Nico didn’t stay to listen to Hades lecture him any more.  He fled from the room and took off down the hall again.  There were footsteps behind him, but Nico kept running until he reached his bedchambers, passing the intruding girl along the way, then he slammed the door shut behind him.  Nico jumped on his bed, closed the curtains around it, and hid under the blankets for good measure, as though it would keep everyone out.  It was dark and warm and quiet, and he didn’t have to deal with sights and sounds overwhelming his senses.

Nico broke the silence with a sob, and then he cried.

*   *   *

Nico took a deep breath, tapping his pen on his paper and glancing over the hastily scribbled paragraphs of the letter he was trying to compose.  He’d gone to one of his favorite drawing rooms in the palace to write to Will.  He was lounging in the cushioned window seat, the afternoon sunlight pleasantly warm against his skin and as it illuminated the papers in his lap.

 _“Hazel is eager for your visit,”_ he wrote.   _“You didn’t get much of a chance to talk to her last time, but she hopes to see more of you when you come.  She asks about you every time I get a new letter.  I think that you will like Hazel; I know from the way you write about your younger siblings that you adore them and you talk about the children in Venadica all the time.  I get the sense that you are a good brother.  I think that I can entrust my sister to you._

_“Hazel is slowly growing out of childhood, I fear.  She is nine years of age and already far too witty for her own good.  After visiting you, I can’t help but think that one day, she should go to Venadica to study, even just for a few weeks.  Her art and music improve every day and I suspect that she will become far more adept at horsemanship than I am within the next few years.  She’s brilliant, as well; her Old Pluton is nearly flawless and it won’t be long until she becomes fluent in both Scatinavian and Aegyptian.  I am teaching her to fence and she has developed quite a passion for it, so I predict that she’ll soon become skilled in that, as well.  I confess that I’m glad that she still has several years before she becomes old enough to entertain suitors, as I fear she’ll have so many admirers that I’ll have to chase them all off—although, I wouldn’t doubt that by that point, she’d be perfectly capable of chasing them off herself, if she felt the need._

_“Hazel, unfortunately, isn’t the only one who is eager to meet you.  You have yet to be introduced to my primary guard, a small but aggressive man who goes by the name of Hedge.  You have nothing to fear from Hedge; he’s harmless unless I’m threatened, but his manner is quite brusque.  He was very distrustful of my previous suitors and I anticipate that he’ll be wary of you at first.  Of course, I don’t think it will take him long to trust you.  You aren’t like any of my previous suitors.”_

Nico paused and stared at the last line, wondering what Will would think of it and whether he should elaborate on what he meant.   _“My previous suitors were unsatisfactory,”_ he tried, then crossed the line out and tapped his pen against his lower lip in thought.   _“My previous suitors were...”_ he started, then halted again to think.  Were what?  They weren’t half as handsome as Will.  They didn’t make Nico smile like Will did.  None of them seemed nearly as happy to meet him as Will had been.  None had even _liked_ him.  Nico hadn’t _let_ them like him, if he was honest.  He hadn’t trusted them.

But Will had been so different.  He’d smiled at Nico immediately.  He’d never let Nico even question whether Will wanted to be there.  Will had made Nico trust him almost instantly.  When Nico had teased Will or been cold to Will, Will had kept trying.  It hadn’t taken Nico long to realize that Will wasn’t just _different_ from his other suitors; Will was nearly perfect.

 _“My previous suitors were not as wonderful as you,”_ Nico wrote, then he read over the paragraph again and decided to cross out the last two sentences.  Will didn’t need to hear about all the failed arranged marriage meetings Nico had gone through before him.

There was a sudden, soft knock and Nico looked up to find his father standing in the open doorway.  “I’m sorry, did you need this room?” Nico asked stiffly.

“No, you can stay there,” Hades said.

Nico nodded, but Hades didn’t leave.  Nico supposed he should have been more clear.  What he had meant to say was, _Will you be using this room?  Because if so, I would like to vacate it._

Nico was getting along much better with Hades than he had in the first few years after his return to the palace, but they still had their spats.  Persephone said that they were too alike; _“Neither of you are any good at expressing yourselves,”_ she’d told him.  Nico was _trying_ to be better at expressing himself, however.  He did his best to avoid fighting with his father.

Well.  Really, he just avoided his father.  Perhaps it was not the best way to stop fighting, but it was effective.

Hades cleared his throat.  “Are you writing to your fiancé?” he asked.

Nico glanced down at his paper, fighting the desire to fold it to conceal its contents, even if Hades was all the way across the room.  “Um.  Yes.”

“Right, I see.  And is he doing well?”

Nico gripped his pen impatiently.  “Yes.”

“Good.  That is good.”  Hades fell silent for a moment, which Nico hoped meant he would leave soon.  But he did not.  In fact, he stepped further into the room.

“You know, when your sister was born....”  Hades cleared his throat awkwardly.  “Your younger sister, I mean.  When she was born, it was like she brought a little light back into the palace.”

“And then I came back and snuffed it out?” Nico mumbled without thinking.

Hades frowned at him, clearly unamused and unimpressed.  “Nico, don’t do that.  You _know_ that wasn’t what I planned to say.”

Nico sighed.  “Right.  Apologies.”

Hades only nodded to recognize Nico had spoken.  “So, you see, Hazel made everything seem a bit more bright and hopeful.  Just the idea that something as amazing as a baby could still exist...well.  I think everyone in the palace could feel it.”

Nico said nothing.  He didn’t understand why his father was telling him this.  Nico hadn’t been there when Hazel was born; he’d still been on the countryside.  And when he’d finally returned and found that a new “sister” had moved into Bianca’s room, he’d been filled with rage.  Of course, Nico adored Hazel now, but he did not like to think about anything that had happened back then.  It only made him feel guilty.

Hades cleared his throat again.  “But the point I am trying to make is that I think Lord William will do the same.”

Nico frowned in surprise before fixing his expression.  “You do?” he asked.

Hades gestured nonchalantly, like it was inconsequential, but it was obvious to Nico that Hades was trying his best to communicate.  Neither of them were very good at that.  “I can tell that he makes you happier,” Hades said.  “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your letter.”

Nico nodded slowly.  “Right.”

Hades cleared his throat another time, then there was an uncomfortable pause, like they were both allowing each other a moment to say something else, and then Hades left.  Sighing, Nico looked down at his letter, skimming over what he had already written.

 _“I find myself thinking about you more and more each day,”_ Nico added, then he scratched out the line.  He’d have to rewrite his entire letter once he finally figured out what to say.

But it was true; Nico thought about Will constantly now.  He woke up in the morning thinking about him.  He thought about Will when he went outside to walk with Asterion.  He talked about Will when he was alone with Hazel or Persephone or Reyna.  Will was constantly on his mind, from his first thought in the morning to his last thought before he fell asleep.  He even dreamed about Will sometimes.

Nico took a deep breath and read over the lines he’d crossed out.   _I’m a coward,_ he thought, remembering how Will had addressed his letter to his “dearest prince.”  Compared to that, Nico’s letter sounded like he was brushing aside all the sweet things Will had said.  He liked the way Will wrote to him, so wouldn’t it make sense for Will to like it, too?

 _“I find myself thinking about you more and more each day,”_ Nico wrote again. _“I wish that letters traveled faster so that I could hear from you more often.  I wish I could see you and hear your voice.  I wish your visit fell sooner so that we could be together again.  It’s silly, isn’t it?  But I miss you.”_

*   *   *

It was a while after Nico had fled to his room to be alone when he heard the door open.  He quickly silenced himself and wiped his eyes.  “Leave,” he ordered, drawing his knees up to his chest.  He was glad that he had drawn the curtains around his bed; he didn’t want anyone to see him cry.

“I will not leave,” Persephone’s voice replied, slightly muffled by the curtains.  “Not until you and I talk.”

“I don’t want to talk!”

“Well, you must talk to someone.  I would like it if you would talk to me.”

Nico didn’t bother answering.

“Your hound was outside the door,” Persephone said.  “Would you like to have him in there with you?”

Nico did.  He didn’t have Hestia with him, but he still had Asterion.  “Yes,” he said.  “But you have to stay out there.”

“I will,” Persephone replied.  Nico heard the sound of claws on wood and he crawled out from under his blankets and peeked through the curtains to call Asterion in.  He was careful not to let Persephone see him when Asterion jumped onto his bed, then he firmly shut the curtains again.

“I think you deserve an explanation,” Persephone said from outside.  Nico heard the door close, then the sound of a chair dragging across the floor.  “We never wanted you or Bianca to find out.  We were very careful to keep whole thing secret.”

“Well, I _did_ find out,” Nico spat, tracing his fingers over Asterion’s ear to calm himself.

“You did,” Persephone agreed.  “You’re part of the secret now, Nico.  And I think you should know the whole story.”

“I know you’re barren,” Nico said.  “I know my father was unfaithful to you so that he could have an heir.  I know my mother was Lady Maria.  What else is there to know?”

“To start, your father was not unfaithful to me.”

Nico’s hand paused over Asterion’s fur.  “What do you mean?”

“He and I couldn’t have children.  We made the decision to ask for help.  Everyone involved was fully informed about the situation.  Do you understand?”

“Not really,” Nico admitted.

“I suppose I can’t expect you to,” Persephone said.  “But I do not want you to be angry with your father.  He was not unfaithful and you are not a bastard.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“No, perhaps not.  But it is true.  Maria may as well have been part of our family, Nico.  I see no reason to question the legitimacy of your birth.”

Nico didn’t answer.  He didn’t understand.  His birth parents had not been married—how was he not a bastard?  And how could his father have remained faithful if he’d had children with another woman?

“Are you angry with me?” Persephone suddenly asked.

“Yes!” Nico spat.  “Or, well, no, I suppose not.”  Not with her.  Not completely.

“I understand that this is difficult to comprehend,” she said.  “But I don’t want you to think less of yourself—or Bianca, or Maria, or your father—as a result of this.”

Nico swallowed.  “Who is the new girl’s mother?”

“The _‘new girl’_ is named Hazel, and she is your _sister.”_

Nico scoffed.  Persephone chose to ignore it.

“Hazel’s mother is my half-sister,” Persephone said.  “You remember Lady Marie, one of my ladies-in-waiting?  We have the same mother.  Hazel is my niece by blood.”

Nico’s gut wrenched with a mix of shock and agony.  Shock because of that revelation, and agony because Hazel had a connection to Persephone, while Nico did not.

“Nico, do you understand that this must all remain very secret?  If anyone knew, your claim to the throne would be jeopardized.”

“That girl is more legitimate than I am,” Nico mumbled.  “She has your blood.”

“There is more to legitimacy than one’s bloodline, Nico.  And _‘that girl’_ is named Hazel.”

Nico snorted.

“I still think of you as my son,” Persephone said.  “Will you accept me as your mother?”

Nico swallowed and pulled Asterion’s head onto his lap.  It had broken his heart when he learned that Persephone was not his birth mother.  Persephone had always been kind to him.  But underneath the betrayal he had felt upon discovering his illegitimacy, he had felt happy to know Lady Maria’s connection to him.  He had loved his governess.  “But what about Lady Maria?”

“She can be your mother, as well.”

“Did she want to be my mother?”  Nico’s voice cracked as he spoke and he hid his face in Asterion’s side to keep himself from crying.  He didn’t want to cry again, especially not when Persephone could hear him.  He would rather be angry.  That was easier.  It hurt less.

“Yes, my dearest, of course she wanted to be your mother,” Persephone answered gently.  “She loved you and Bianca very much.  She was so happy that she was able to spend time with the both of you as your governess.”

“Was she your friend?” Nico asked.

“Yes, she and I were very good friends,” Persephone said.  Nico could hear her smiling.  “Your father and I adored her.”

“Then you’ll both be my mothers,” Nico decided.  “I can have two, can’t I?”

“Of course you can, darling.  Lady Maria would have been so happy.”

*   *   *

The evening sky was red over Persephone’s garden, but Nico still hadn’t found a flower to send his fiancé.  How was it that he couldn’t find a single flower that he felt suited Will?  Or, perhaps the question he ought to ask was: how was it that Will always managed to find the perfect flower for Nico?

“Are you searching for a flower again?” asked a voice behind him.  “I’m quite proud of myself for instilling such a passion for floriography in you.”

Nico turned to find Persephone watching him with an amused expression.  “Yes,” he admitted.  “He sent me gladioli this time.”

“Gladioli?” Persephone repeated.  “Did he dry them or press them?”

“Press.  He said that he thought gladioli suit me.  He thinks I’m strong and honorable.”  Nico couldn’t say the words without blushing; he still hadn’t gotten used to all the sweet things Will wrote to him.  “What do you think I should send back?”

Persephone hummed.  “What do you want to tell him?”

Nico sighed.  He wasn’t nearly as eloquent as Will.  “I don’t know.  I think he’s kind and he has a good heart.  He makes me want to smile.  I’ve already sent him daisies, though.  He’s so much better at this than I am.”

“You are just like your father,” Persephone said with a resigned smile.  “You are always so convinced that you’ll say the wrong thing.”

“I don’t know what to say at all,” Nico said.  “I’m trying to be more honest with him like Hestia told me to be, but I’m not good at saying these things.  If I can just give him the right flower, I wouldn’t have to.”

Nico sighed again, wishing that Will would hurry up and come to Divitia so that he wouldn’t have to agonize over a single flower.  Nico missed Will.  He would be happy to marry Will immediately, but that wasn’t possible just yet; they weren’t quite old enough.  It was a pity that they couldn’t marry as soon as Nico turned eighteen; Nico’s birthday fell in the winter and he would have to wait for Will to come back to Pluto in the spring.  Pluton winters made travel difficult for wedding guests.

Irrelevantly, it occured to Nico that it would be nice to kiss Will.  It had felt nice to kiss Will’s forehead, but to _really_ kiss Will?  To have Will’s gentle hands touch him, to have the warmth of Will’s body close to his own, perhaps even to wrap his arms around Will and embrace him, the way he only ever did with Asterion or Hazel and sometimes Hestia—

Nico shook his head, trying to stop himself from thinking about it.  That was horribly inappropriate behavior for an unwed prince.  He could not do that.  And yet....

Nico had never been kissed before.  What would it feel like?  Would Will enjoy it?  Surely a kiss would be good.  Nico briefly entertained the thought that he should ask Reyna about kissing when he got the chance, but he abandoned the idea when he realized he did not want to know about Reyna’s kissing experience, especially because any experience she may have was likely to involve Jason.  Persephone, then?  No.  And _definitely_ not his father.  Nico would have to learn about kissing on his own.

Well, not completely on his own.  He’d learn with Will.  Together.  Utilizing lips.  Eventually.

“Well, how about this,” Persephone said suddenly.  “Instead of asking yourself what you want to tell him, try to imagine how you want him to feel when he opens your letter.”

“I want him to be happy, of course,” Nico said.

“And what sort of message would make him happy?” Persephone asked.  “Think of it this way: what is it about the flowers and the letters Will sends that makes you happy?”

Nico shrugged.  “He thinks about me.  He likes writing to me.  I like that.  I suppose I like knowing that I make _him_ happy.”

“I think that’s your answer, then,” Persephone said.  “Send him something that tells him that you care for him.”

Out of habit, Nico almost objected to Persephone’s wording, but he _did_ care for Will.  “I...I don’t know how.  I told you, I’m not good at this.”

“That is the thing about loving someone, Nico,” Persephone said.  “You have to _learn_ to be good at it.  If you don’t tell him how you feel, how will he know?”

“Love?” Nico repeated quietly.  What surprised Nico about the word was that it _didn’t_ surprise him.  It didn’t feel out of place or wrong.  He felt like he’d been searching for that word for a long time.

“You’ve never said it,” Persephone admitted.  “But it’s true, isn’t it?”

Nico didn’t answer.  Instead, he continued to repeat the word _love_ over and over in his head, trying it out to see how it felt.  He had to admit, it didn’t feel bad at all.

*   *   *

“Why did you put that girl in Bianca’s room?” Nico asked, his voice cracking from the betrayal he felt.  He hid his face in Asterion’s shoulder, as though the curtains around his bed weren’t shielding him enough.

“Her name is _Hazel,_ and she wasn’t in Bianca’s room before,” Persephone replied.  “We changed her room when we learned that you would be returning because we wanted you to have your sister close by.  We thought it would help you adjust.”

Nico scowled.  “Did you think putting that girl in Bianca’s room would replace her?”

“Her name is _Hazel,”_ Persephone said.  “She isn’t here to replace Bianca, Nico.  No one will replace Bianca.”

“But I don’t want a new sister.”

“Well, we can’t put her back,” Persephone replied.  Nico hated himself for laughing a bit at the crude statement.  “Hazel wants an older brother.  We told her about you and we showed her portraits of you.  She has been so excited to meet you.  She would walk through the palace with your portrait and show it to everyone who would listen, and she told them, ‘This is my brother Nico.  He lives far away, but he is coming back soon.’  She loved you before she even met you.  Please, Nico, I know you’re angry, but Hazel isn’t the one to direct it at.”

“I can’t.  I’m not like Bianca.  I don’t know how to do this.”

“Hazel doesn’t need you to be Bianca.  Hazel needs you to be Nico.  She loves you, darling.”

“But I...she must hate me now,” Nico whispered.  “I wasn’t nice to her.”

“I promise you, it would take a lot more than that for Hazel to hate anyone.  She adores you.  Why don’t you give her a chance?”

*   *   *

“You _still_ haven’t decided what flower to send him?”

Nico shrugged, tilting his head as Hazel gathered up his hair to brush it with her fingers.  She was sitting in the chair that had once been Bianca’s favorite while Nico was on the floor in front of it, letting her play with his hair.  “No,” he answered.  “I’m still thinking.  Did you have any ideas?”

 _“You_ have to decide what to send, it’s much more exciting that way,” Hazel said.  Nico scoffed, but she didn’t give up.  “He really loves you, you know.”

Nico didn’t protest.  He just smiled and said, “He does, doesn’t he?”

Hazel hummed in the affirmative and bunched Nico’s hair on top of his head.  “I think you should wear your hair like this the next time you see him.  You look like those paintings of silly ladies from Neptune who wear boats in their hair.”

Nico laughed; Neptonians had a peculiar sense of style that was often scandalous but sometimes just ridiculous.  “I appreciate your suggestion, but I won’t be doing that,” he said, still thinking about what Hazel had said before and the conversation he’d had with Persephone in the garden.

Will loved him.  It was obvious in the way Will looked at him and spoke to him.  He didn’t just treat Nico like a prince; he treated Nico the way one only treats someone they truly care for.

And Nico’s feelings for Will?  He hadn’t put words to them yet, but they were as clear as day.  Nico didn’t have to do anything more than _think_ about Will and his chest would feel warm.  He kept Will’s old letters in a locked box under his bed.  He’d even stay up late at night rereading them, committing Will’s words to memory and tracing the tip of his finger over Will’s thin handwriting.  Nico’s daydreams about reaching out to touch or kiss Will were not infrequent—and Nico _did_ kiss Will that last day in Venadica.

“I’ve decided to send him gardenias,” Nico said suddenly, thinking of the way the gardenias in Persephone’s garden bloomed into white, aromatic flowers, simple in shape, but so beautiful.  Even though they had no color, the petals were still lovely; they looked pure and youthful and perfect.

“Gardenias?” Hazel repeated.  “What do gardenias mean?”

Nico smiled and closed his eyes, enjoying the relaxing feeling of Hazel combing through his hair.  “I think I’m falling in love.”

*   *   *

It was a while after Persephone left that Nico finally dried his eyes and ventured outside his door.  The little girl was still in their connected drawing room, now stacking pieces of charcoal instead of drawing with them.

“Hello!” she greeted again, just like she had the first time.  “Is that your dog?”

Nico looked at Asterion, who had followed him and was standing at his side.  “Yes,” Nico answered, his voice rough and hoarse from crying.

“What’s his name?” Hazel asked.

“Asterion,” Nico said.

“As-tree-on,” Hazel tried to repeat.  “Him is brown.  I like that dog.”

Nico didn’t know how to answer, so he stayed silent and watched her.

“Will you draw with me?” Hazel asked, holding out a piece of charcoal.

Nico’s eyes flickered from Hazel’s golden eyes to her charcoal-dusted fingers to the black stains she’d left on her white child’s gown.  “Yes,” he answered.  “I would love to draw with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! If you feel so inclined, you can [click here](https://solange-lol.tumblr.com/post/170439353464/solangelo-fic-awards-2018-voting) to vote for The Privilla in the AU category of the Solangelo fanfic competition. I also have a few fics in other categories, if you'd like to check those out. There are lots of great fics by other authors, too!
> 
> The guide is still a mess. Also, I have no idea when I'll be able to post the next fic, but I'll work on it when I'm able to!
> 
> Oh! [And I painted a picture of a gardenia!](http://gatesofember.tumblr.com/post/170439768579/gardenia)


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